Do you need more conflict?
“Sometimes, the biggest adventures begin with a conflict.” Imagine thinking of disagreements not as battles to be won or lost, but as golden opportunities to learn and grow. This might sound strange, because so many of us have learned to see conflict as a big, scary monster. But what if we could turn that monster into a friend?
The Negative View of Conflict
Many of us are taught from a young age to avoid fighting at all costs. It’s like seeing a “Beware of the Dog” sign and deciding to take a different path home. We’re often told that arguing is bad, that it means we’re not getting along with others. But avoiding conflict is like skipping chapters in a book; we miss out on the important parts of the story.
A Story of Avoidance
I once met a very successful business owner who was great at many things, but not at facing disagreements. He tried so hard to avoid conflict that he would take the blame for things that weren’t his fault, even if it meant losing money. It’s like if you painted a picture and someone else spilled paint on it, but you apologized and repainted the whole thing yourself!
The Power of Embracing Conflict
Let me tell you about a magical place called the “Idea Colosseum.” It was a place where a team could throw their ideas into the ring, and like in ancient Rome, only the strongest ideas survived. This wasn’t about fighting each other; it was about making sure the best ideas won. And guess what? It worked! They discovered new things and grew stronger together.
Podcast Insights
In a recent chat on my podcast, I spoke with an expert, Liane Davey, who believes that we need more conflict, not less. It sounds wild, right? But she’s onto something. Avoiding conflict is like never turning the page in a book because you’re afraid of what comes next. But what if the best parts of the story are waiting on those pages?
The Shift in Perspective
What if, instead of running away from conflict, we ran towards it? Imagine thinking, “Yes! A disagreement! Let’s see what I can learn.” It’s been said that “the best things in life lie on the other side of difficult conversations.” Maybe it’s time we start flipping those difficult pages.
The Importance of Deep Conversations
Conflict is like digging deeper into the ground to find water. Bigger fish swim in deeper water. If we want to catch big fish, we need to go deeper. We need to take our conversations to a deeper level. It might take some work, but the reward is refreshing. It forces us to talk about what really matters to us, to discuss things we’ve been avoiding. Avoiding conflict is like keeping a lid on a pot of boiling water. Eventually, it’s going to spill over.
Conclusion
So, let’s start looking at conflict differently. It’s not a monster under the bed; it’s a bridge to better understanding, deeper relationships, and stronger ideas. The next time you face a disagreement, remember, it might just be the beginning of a great adventure.
Note: In a few weeks, I’ll feature Jessica Hawkins, Family Dynamics Facilitator, Conflict Resolution Specialist, and Founder of Better Conflict, on my podcast, Conversations with Keita Demming, sharing her intriguing insights on conflict.